Dick Grayson 002 Ⓡ video

[usedacrobatics]

[The Pokegear snaps on, and Dick, in a nice waiter's shirt, slumps down against a wall and sighs.]

So this is, uh, ridiculously embarrassing.

[His hair's slicked back, too, and he's loosening a little bow tie with his other hand. Tugging at it with a little more force than strictly necessary.]

Exactly, um. Does anyone have any tips for how to... like, not go broke? How do people keep track of money? How do you not run out?

I plead lack of maturity, lack of understanding of the value of a... whatever the unit of currency is here, I don't even know.

And yeah, okay, if you all want a good laugh at my expense, my foster father is a billionaire, both through inheritance and being the CEO of a worldwide corporation. Go ahead, I've heard all the rich kid jokes and I don't really care, I'd just be grateful, in return, for a little--

[There's a voice yelling in the distance, something about not being paid to take breaks; Dick jumps up and shuts off the feed immediately. He does have a work ethic, okay, he was a circus performer until he was nine, but that money was all put in the bank.]

Comments

[artofthestress]

Oh my! I hadn't thought to stand on a human's other pair of legs!

[ She pauses mid-thought. ] Would you excuse me for a moment? [ She hastily puts the pokegear down, and runs offscreen. There's a minute or two of silence, then a loud THUMP. ]

Well, that's not nearly as easy as it looks. [ She appears back onscreen, rubbing her head. ] I know a certain daredevil pony who might be interested in learning how to do that.

[usedacrobatics]

[sincerest apologies but he's having the hardest time not cracking up okay? okay. he actually flops flat on his face from the strain.]

It's not exactly something you can just... do one day. I've been practicing since I learned to walk the other way. My parents -- my biological parents, not my foster dad -- were circus acrobats.

You have a Ponyta?

[artofthestress]

Oh, I see. That explains it. No, what I mean is that I have a friend who used to be a pony. She's very athletic - her name's Rainbow Dash? Perhaps you've seen her around.

[staystraught]

It can be taught, if you or your friend want to.

Is there, uh. A reason she is no longer a pony?

[Being a pony isn't so weird, he knows several aliens...]

I don't recognize her name.

[artofthestress]

Goodness me, that's not my territory at all! But I'll speak with Rainbow Dash.

Both of us - and Twilight, Pinkie, Cadance, and Applejack - we used to be ponies back on Equestria. There's something about this place that changed us into humans. It's dreadfully disorienting.

[staystraught]

[Meep.]

That's kind of disturbing -- not that you were ponies, but that this world thought you being ponies was a bad thing.

Humans have enough trouble learning how to walk on two legs. It must have been even more frustrating for you guys.

[artofthestress]

Actually, it's the hands that caused more trouble than that, dear - they're quite different to use than hooves or magic, which makes manipulating certain things complicated.

[usedacrobatics]

Not to sound, um, insensitive or anything, but I always thought primate hands, with opposable thumbs [He holds up his left hand and demonstrates, the way his thumb bends in opposition to the other fingers, allowing for a more secure and maneuverable grip] was what made tool-making more profitable for us.

But, you know, if you've got magic, that blows it all out of the water, really. You win.

[He knows Kaldur has some magic, and Zatara has even more...]

[artofthestress]

It's no help here! But it does mean there's certain things unicorns can do that other ponies simply cannot. Operating heavy machinery, for example.

I know very few ponies who can stand on two hooves for any length of time, though. Perhaps that counts as something - maybe even equal with being able to use magic?

[staystraught]

The idea of operating heavy machinery with magic is fascinating to me. You generally think of magic as the opposite of machinery and science. At least where I come from.

[At least, if you're Wally.]

Heh. If you can use good enough magic, do you have to stand at all? You can just... float on a magic disk.

[Zatara does that.]

[artofthestress]

I'm afraid not. We have four perfectly good hooves for that. And that's why unicorns tend to be the ones working with mechanical objects - they have the most capability for it.

[usedacrobatics]

Probably have to build them with magic, too, huh? I feel kinda bad for someone who might not have magic, but is still interested in machinery.

[artofthestress]

I don't know that that tends to... happen, in Equestria, exactly. Most ponies find something they like doing and are good at, and that becomes what they do for the rest of their life. Reflected in their cutie mark, of course.

[usedacrobatics]

So midlife crisis is just not a thing, huh? That's kind of nice.

[artofthestress]

I'm not exactly sure what that is, but I'll take your word for it.

[usedacrobatics]

It's when you're between thirty and forty-five years old and you suddenly realize you haven't done anything meaningful in your life. Very scary.

[artofthestress]

That is frightening. Such a long time to not know what you are to do with yourself!

I'd imagine you're nowhere near that point yet, though. Is that true?

[usedacrobatics]

Seriously. I have a minor version of it sometimes. I'm only thirteen, but I was making good strides on a career until I was nine. But if I decide to go back to it, it probably won't be for a few more years.

[artofthestress]

A career of walking on your hands? That sounds like a pretty strange career to me.

[staystraught]

Nah, walking on my hands I do for fun. The career comes from jumping between giant swings in the air with no net.

Well, I had to use a net because my parents wouldn't allow me into the no-net routines, but the end point would be the same.

[artofthestress]

Oh, well, that's a much less ridiculous way to earn money!

Have you considered making something, dear?

[usedacrobatics]

I make people gasp in shock and amazement. You can't grow out of that, or rip it, or stain it. That's permanent.

[artofthestress]

Well, that sounds absurdly dangerous! I've never heard of someone wanting to look so ridiculous for such a purpose!

[ Ignoring the irony that is high fashion shows of Canterlot. Good job Rarity. ]

[staystraught]

[He just shrugs. He's a little amused by the reaction.]

If you do it right, it's not ridiculous.

[...not in a circus, but he'll ignore that for the sake of the point.]

It can be graceful, or powerful, or majestic, aaaaaaand...

[He sort of enjoys drawing that out.]

A lot of that mood is purposefully invoked by costume design.

[artofthestress]

[ She looks at him suspiciously. ] What sort of costume design?