usedacrobatics | ROBIN √ 001 √ 3-19-13

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ROBIN √ 001 √ 3-19-13

[The gear snaps on after falling out of the bag. Heard in the background is the sound of a Pokeball releasing its occupant, and wings flapping. The Pokemon, a Taillow, nudges the Pokegear towards the edge of—yes, it’s a roof. The bag was tossed up on to the roof of Mom’s house, the gear and Pokeball were jostled by the impact, and they are now both looking over the edge at a boy dressed in a red and black bodysuit, with a yellow and black cape. He’s climbing out of the bedroom window. The Taillow focuses the camera on the “R” logo on the kid’s chest. It looks important!]

Ooookay. Definitely not in Kansas anymore. Kansas would be so good right about now.

[He edges a little further out, seating himself on the windowsill, back towards the outside, and sizing up the roof. He catches sight of the bird holding the camera and grins, the eye lenses of his domino mask widening to reflect slight surprise. He doesn’t realize that it’s recording yet.]

Me not being in Kansas anymore must make you Toto, huh? Or Dinah. Birds holding cameras seem a bit more Wonderland than Oz, but I’m not the expert. So long as you’re not Cheshire, I think we can work with it, though.

[He looks back up at the roof, still grinning. He grips the edge with both hands, and pulls himself up with a grunt, and mutters:]

Since when does this require effort?

[Another grunt of exertion, and Robin forces his body upwards into a handstand, trying to balance on the edge of a sloped roof, before turning a quick tumble into a crouch.
It… doesn’t work that way. His legs are wobbling slightly, and when he tries to swing into the tumble, his balance shifts and he topples over with a brief yell of shock.

In the opposite direction.

Off the roof.

Shocked yell out of the way, Robin begins trying to grip something, anything on the wall while the Taillow squawks in distress and drops the camera. The Pokegear rights itself on the ground just in time to see the bird grasp the Boy Wonder’s cape.
It slows his descent, but the weight is too much for a small, level 5 Taillow and the two crash into the ground, Robin groaning as his knees absorb the impact. He gives the bird a pained, but grateful look.]

Well, you have Superman’s color scheme down. We can work on the rescuing thing.

[He flops over, lying on his side. Taillow uses his wings to shade his eyes from the sun, and Robin gently strokes the bird’s breast. Annoyed:]

I cannot believe I just fell off a roof. Nobody saw that, right? I just fell off a roof.
Batman would kill me if he knew I actually fell off a roof. I mean, there goes my reputation. Say nothing of the mystique. A roof. Not even a big roof. It’s only two stories—and—

[He notices the Pokegear Taillow dropped. It’s lit up.]

Why is that thing—

[Click!]

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Maybe. I know one who's fallen off pretty much every roof he's ever gotten on.

[A beat passes as something seems to click.]

Wait. You're mad because you think being a geek is a bad thing, aren't you.

[OH MAN, SHE JUST FIGURED OUT SOMETHING IMPLICIT IN A SOCIAL INTERACTION. This is a triumph of the highest order.]

How many roofs has he been on, if he keeps falling off them?

[Legit curious, before he gets back on track.]

I'm perturbed because I think you intended it as an insult, basically. I'm neither mad nor do I consider it necessarily a bad thing.

[He's got mathlete trophies okay.]

Maybe like eight or nine? At least five that I can think of right off the bat. They all kind of run together 'cause pretty much the same thing happens every time.

[She shrugs, popping the other half of her cookie into her mouth — but then kind of blinks at the explanation because on one hand, wow, stuff like this is way easier when people actually say what they mean like that, and on the other hand...]

Why would I mean that? It's the age of the geek.

This would be my first time falling off a roof. My condolences.

[He tilts his head a bit.]

In my circle, yeah, but not everyone's. I just like making sure I'm on the same page as everyone else.

Entirely avoidable with the help of a good harness. The ropes they sell around here are a joke, though; I haven't found anything with a tensile strength even remotely comparable to carbon fiber yet.

[She remarks, in the tone of voice one might use when discussing the weather or something equally standard.]

So are you a comic-book-video-game-action-figure geek? Enthusiast, whatever. I like your costume.

And you know, I was already trying to figure out how I'd buy more. I do carry ziplines, harnesses, all of that normally, but my utility belt is gone, too, and all my toys with it.

[He shrugs.]

My actual life is much more interesting than any of those mere hobbies.

[Well, that's worthy of a Frysquint. And then, abruptly:]

Someone just stole a priceless work of art from a museum. Security system is still intact, none of the guards saw anything. The safe is a Glen-Reider model 680X and the clearance diagonal of the ventilation shafts is four inches too short to get the artwork through. What do you do?

Call a magician about the possibility of illusion or transportation spells. And interrogate the guards and other employees while waiting for them to get there, making absolutely sure the piece of art had, indeed, left the museum.

Ah-ah! You forgot the most important question.

But is there a skylight.

Good thinking that it didn't really leave the museum, though.

Must be an off day.

[But he sounds a little annoyed with himself, because duh. Batman would murder him in his sleep if realized his sidekick had made such an amateurish mistake.

Never mind that he just spent most of the night drowning, burning, running, and trying to keep Artemis from panicking.]

Ask me another one. Let me get warmed up.

[Well, in fairness, he's dealing with at least one world's greatest thief here, and the point isn't really to see him solve the mystery; it's just to see what he thinks of first.

After all, the guy is dressed like Robin and talking about knowing Batman.]

It also kind of depends on what the artwork is. You say artwork and most people think painting, right? But it could be the statue of David. That's where you'd need the skylight, for lowering the cables from the helicopter. And if it was the David then the clearance diagonal doesn't really matter because you couldn't take a six-ton statue out through the shafts anyway, but it would indicate some pretty sloppy building planning because it's like seventeen feet tall, which means you'd have a sixteen foot eight inch ventilation duct. You could drive a truck through that. If it was a little truck. Context.

[She emphasizes this with jazz hands, and proceeds to look proud of herself for actually even knowing what jazz hands are.]

Okay, ummm...oh! Okay. There's a bomb submerged in a vase of flowers activated by a motion sensor. C-4. Someone's holding the vase and it'd be really good if they didn't get blown up. But they can't set down the vase because shaky hands, too risky, water motion, all that stuff. Also you're in a kitchen. What do you do?

Most criminals would think to go for a painting, too. They have that same bias. Some smarter ones might go for the statuary, because the layman buying would be less likely to recognize sculptures than some of the more famous paintings-- although David isn't a case of that.

But probability indicates that it would be a painting. So, while context is definitely important, you can't always wait for every piece to fall in before you start pursuing leads. The longer you wait, the less chance you have of solving the crime.

[...she's either thought way too much about this or else she is highly eccentric.

Then again, the two are not mutually exclusive.]

Hmm. The vase would make it too difficult to hack the motion sensors. I wouldn't be able to plug my USB in without jostling the vase, especially if someone was holding it.

First thing would be to call for an evacuation of the building. The bomb would have to be disarmed somehow.

[Mentally reviewing everything he knows about C-4... He smacks himself in the forehead. What did you do just an hour ago, boy blunder?]

EMP emitter. If nothing else, it'd shut down the motion sensor, allowing the person holding it to get away and me to disarm it normally.

[Another fine deduction, Robin — particularly considering it's pretty much both.

And speaking of eccentric, she lights up like a kid on Christmas at that deduction.]

Oooh! We didn't even think of that! We just put gelatin in the water to solidify it enough that it could be moved without going off right away. But an EMP would've totally worked. ...I think. Maybe it would've fried all the computers and stuff, too. But I guess those all kind of got wrecked anyway when the bomb went off...

[Parker, you're talking to yourself again. AND STILL ON THE COMM.]

That's really cool, though, do you just carry one of those around?

No, but I plan to start after the night I just had. As it was, my friend had to coach me through building one.

[He shrugs.]

I do know how to disarm a bomb without a computer. The computer's just faster.

Ohhh. So your friend's the geek, right?

[She grins, like this amuses her somehow, though it's hard to pinpoint why.]

What's your record for disarming a security system?

Depends on the subject, but he's much better in science than I am. By a lot.

[Hey, if you're amused, he's... well, he'll try and pinpoint it, and smile in kind.]

A whole security system? I can hack the Justice League's in about seven minutes.

[Because it's identical to the one in the Batcave that he learned on, but details, details.]

[Gradually, her fleeting grin fades into more thoughtful contemplation, and she kind of peers at the video for a silent moment, brow beginning to furrow in thought. A moment later, her bad habit of talking to herself once again kicks in, and she murmurs under her breath.]

Maybe you really are Robin...

[You know, aside from the whole "fell off a roof" thing. But by this point the guy's either legit or a world-class liar, and the geeks she knows don't tend to be world-class liars.

Also if this really is Robin, then that means he really knows Batman, and that means Hardison's head is going to explode with jealousy when he inevitably finds out.]

I'm Alice. I guess you could use some help right now, huh?

[He heard his name, but brushes it off. Kids have toys and posters with his (masked) face all over them, after all.]

Someone offered me a Pokemon for traveling to the next town. I mostly want information beyond that.

A purpose for being here would be great, but if there's a way to block whatever's blocking my physical abilities, that'd be even better.

I think it's to win the game. You're supposed to beat up a bunch of guys and then take down the final boss. Maybe fight some bad guys along the way. I'm pretty sure they're freight training you into having to leave that city, though, since there's nothing there but unhelpful people and two ways out.

[...Parker, the term is railroading.]

...what do you mean, something's blocking your abilities?

Definitely a video game world, is what you're saying. But what happens after you win the game? Do you just keep challenging the Elite Four until your so overpowered they cry for relief?

[Pointing to the roof.]

I jump between those for fun and I can punch concrete barehanded and crack it. Not that I've tested the second one here, because I'm not stupid, but all I was trying to do on that roof was a back handspring. I do handsprings in my sleep.

Maybe nobody's won the game yet, so nobody knows.

[She's still pretty new to this thing, too. And also wasn't a Pokemon fanatic like some people she knows.]

...Huh. Hang on.

[Don't mind her, Robin, she's just going to set down the Gear and test out this theory via a couple of handsprings and cartwheels, herself.]

[...judging by the scowl on his face, he minds.

He might have to duplicate that.

He sets his own Pokegear down. And he will now experiment, folding himself backwards and raising himself into a handstand.

Okay. He can do that much.]

[Okay, so it seems like she's fine, but then again, she hasn't tried to do anything particularly daring yet, either. Maybe she better take this guy's failure as a cautionary tale and be extra careful the next time she needs to jump off a building.

...or hold someone off a building by their throat, one-handed.]

That's really weird. I didn't notice that when I got here. Maybe you're just too cool for the game and they're afraid you're gonna break it or something.

[Still balanced on his hands, he doesn't answer immediately, instead tucking himself into a rapid back handspring.

He's barely back on his feet again before he pulls his arms in and turns a tight forward somersault-- just one revolution. Okay.]

I'm afraid of trying for a quadruple somersault. I had to hurt myself a lot before I finally figured that out.

[He straightens his cape and flashes a cheeky grin.]

Wouldn't be the first time my enemies tried a similar tactic.

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ROBIN √ 001 √ 3-19-13

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